Comments 6

LGBT, Media and the Male Gaze

I am so grateful to grow up in a rapidly changing and increasingly accepting society where exploring your sexuality is mostly the norm and even perhaps encouraged…? As much as I love how nonchalantly people in western society bring up their same sex ex or how openly they talk about their kinks and fantasies, I am concerned about the intensity of it.

It seems as if now, more than ever, that conversation is open which is fantastic, and we should celebrate that, but sometimes I feel as if it is being misunderstood and misrepresented, especially by the media. Music videos that claim to be LGBT inclusive glamourise lesbian sex by having two, young, half-naked girls making out on a bed but diminishing even the possibility of creating a more complex story line exploring the validity of their relationship. Are lesbian relationships even taken seriously by the media? Sometimes I feel like they’re only included for men’s amusement. This then creates a domino effect of fetishising lesbian relationships, and even though there is so much representativeness of it in the media, is it seen as valid in ‘the real world’? Girls still continue to get hit on after they specifically say they are in a serious, committed, same sex relationship, they get countless threesome offers and an abundance of unnecessary and inappropriate comments on the streets and online.

Here’s a selection of music videos that do the opposite of everything that I just wrote. There’s a new wave of emerging, openly gay artists out there who create work that show their sexuality and love experiences in ‘3D’. These music videos portray the complex nature of love in a mature and non-exploitative way:

Kiyoko’s “What I Need” music video opens up with an improvised, heated argument between a girl (played by Kehlani) and her mother figure, which shows us something that forget in the western society – that people are still rejected and misunderstood their families.

Dodie’s music video for her song “Sick of Losing Soulmates” was one of the first music videos that I’ve ever seen that told the lesbian love story so confidently and innocently. The two female characters were presented as real people with real happiness and struggles inside and outside of that relationship, which beautifully complimented the lyrics.

Matilda is known for making most of her music videos featuring LGBT characters, and “Apologize” was the first song that I’ve heard by her. The music video, although short and simple, effectively tells a whole love story from the beginning to the end. It doesn’t ignore the problems that show up in every relationship, gay or straight, and doesn’t glamourise any part of it.


  1. I love dodie’s music video to ‘Sick Of Losing Soulmates’ for the same reasons you do. It doesn’t overly sexualize the LGBTQ+ community, it just shows love in its purest form with all the struggles it comes with. Such a brilliant idea for a blog post, I really enjoyed reading this! x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I really enjoyed this post! I think it does a good job of highlighting the issue, since this is such an important topic. I remember growing up feeling kind of lost and scared of my own identity because there wasn’t any good representation of the LGBTQ+ community. Movies tried to be inclusive, but there were never any happy endings or examples of that pure love that definitely exists.

    It makes me happy to see these strong female artists showing that this community exists as so much more than someone’s kink or fetish. But anyway, really good piece! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s